Candy and the Broken Biscuits by Lauren Laverne

Okay, confession time. I never actually finished this book. Actually, I never even made it past chapter five. So why am I reviewing it you ask? Well, because this book made me so damn angry, that's why.

It's not often I don't finish a book. It's only happened twice before and never out of anger, only boredom. But Candy has the dubious honour of being the first book to break my grand tradition of perseverance and for that reason, I hate it all the more.

It all started off so well too. Admittedly it was never going to be a great piece of literature, but it was a fun, fluffy chick-lit teen book, similar to Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging and other books of that ilk.

And then the Fairy Godbrother showed up.

Never have I been more shocked in my life by a sudden change in genre. Wait, this isn't a realistic (well, as realistic as the genre gets) teen novel? This is a magical realism type book instead?

Oh.

It was at this point I put the book down in disgust, annoyed by the change coming out of nowhere. I tried to continue on three more times before finally dismissing it as too ridiculous and banishing it to the pile of books never to be read (presently consisting of this book and Eragon) Don't get me wrong, I don't mind tales with a fantastical twist. In fact, I welcome them. But you have to foreshadow it accurately or at least mention in the blurb what it's about otherwise you're just going to end up pissing off your readers. Admittedly a 'Fairy Godbrother' is mentioned in the blurb but in such a way that it could easily be construed as a metaphor.

Perhaps someday I'll finish Candy and give it a proper review. Or perhaps it will rot for all eternity in my pile of unreadable books, never to be touched again. I know which is more likely.

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