Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapters 10-15

Brief Recap: Ana meets Grey's mother, Grey gives her a computer and they start emailing. Ana reads the contract properly, they meet to discuss it and eventually she agrees to be Grey's sub. Also Ana graduates.

Thoughts: Ah, now here's the dickish Christian Grey I was waiting for. Not that he hasn't shown signs of being a dick before this point but this is the part of the book where he really becomes intolerable. There are red flags all over this relationship.

"But I'm worried you'll hurt me."

~

"I could make you stay," he threatens

~

"You scare me when you're angry,"

NONE OF THESE ARE SIGNS YOU SHOULD BE ENTERING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS MAN ANA. Especially not when he literally says he doesn't want you to think about what's right because he'll do it for you.

 “All those decisions – all the wearying thought processes behind them. The – is this the right thing to do? Should this happen here? Can it happen now? You wouldn't have to worry about any of that detail.”

Christian is sooooo creepy. As a joke, Ana sends him an email saying 'it was nice knowing you'. He takes it seriously and shows up at her house to persuade her through sex to change her mind. Sure, he concedes on minor points and to be fair, Ana has a lot more of a backbone than I expected. But she completely ignores the fact she doesn't want a sub/dom relationship. She basically says 'I don't want to be whipped' and he's like 'No, you'll like it, trust me'. And she agrees to it! This is some deeply unhealthy relationship stuff here.

I expected to hate the emails but honestly, they're probably one of the best parts. At least Ana sticks up for herself more via email. Also there's no weird asparagus flirting.

Chapter 15 ends with them having sex for the first time since she agreed to be his sub and what does he do? Tell her she can do anything she wants, she's in charge! He basically taunts her with what she won't ever experience with him again.

This is definitely the worst set of chapters so far. I have a horrible feeling this is the start of a very slippery slope

Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapters 6-10

Brief Recap: Ana wakes up in Grey's bed and he tells her they slept together but didn't have sex (still creepy). Also she isn't wearing pants. He tells her he likes her but there are some things she should know about him before they go any further. He then kisses her dramatically in the elevator because mixed messages are perfectly acceptable. Later on they go to his house and he introduces her to his Room of Eternal Kinkiness and shows her the Sub/Dom contract. She informs him she's a virgin and he's so outraged that he generously takes her virginity right there and then. Sexy times happen, morning times happen and the chapter ends with the arrival of Grey's mother.

Thoughts: Well, we have our first sex scene! And it didn't disappoint. A lot of these chapters is just setting up the whole BDSM concept which unfortunately is kinda problematic. You see, Grey's 'contract' isn't really what BDSM is all about. I mean, it can be but it's a much more mutual thing than this book makes out. Just because Grey is the Dom doesn't mean he gets to decide everything about their relationship without any discussion whatsoever. Also, his reaction to Ana's virgin status is definitely not okay. Despite claiming he doesn't do 'vanilla', he has regular sex with her so she can see what it's like. He is the true king of mixed messages, doing things whilst claiming the whole time that he 'never does them'.

The sex scenes themselves aren't the worst I've ever read but they're hardly realistic. Ana's first time and she feels no pain and has three orgasms. Also, there's even more of unrealistically innocent Ana here. Apparently she has never masturbated/orgasmed either because she's had no sexual feelings whatsoever until Christian shows up with his magical penis.

Christian. Oh dear lord. He has sex like a robot, I swear.

'I am going to take you from behind, Anastasia'.
'Anastasia, I am going to come in your mouth '.
'Error 404-orgasm file not found'.

Ana's subconscious is starting to get on my wick as well. It honestly reads like Ana has some deep psychological problem with the way she's either berating herself or urging herself to be more daring. This kind of inner conflict isn't healthy guys! Ana's repressing so hard that there's no way it can end well.

I'm interested to see how much of the book becomes sex after this. Since the last 5 chapters featured no one but Ana and Christian, it doesn't bode well for the rest of it.

Current Opinion: Getting worse but still palatable

Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapters 1-5

So I've finally decided to do it. Yes, I am going to read 50 Shades of Grey. In order to be able to stomach it though (and to give it a more detailed review) I'm going to split it up into sets of 5 chapters. Hopefully this will make it easier to swallow.

I don't think this really needs much background explanation. If you don't know this book, Google it. Done? Okay, good. So this was a Twilight fanfiction turned goldmine BDSM book. The basic story is vulnerable virgin meets experienced sexy millionaire and they have lots of kinky sexy sex together. I probably won't be too graphic in my reviews of this but I might quote particularly funny parts so be warned if that sort of thing offends you.

Brief recap of chapter contents: Anastasia Steele (henceforth known as 'Ana') meets Christian Grey when she has to interview him for her college newspaper. They then meet again at her place of work where he buys rope and cable ties (subtle book) and finally yet again for a photo shoot. This leads to a coffee date. Ana goes out after her final exams and gets super drunk, hit on by her friend Jose and rescued by Grey.

Thoughts: Okay, so far this isn't as bad as I feared. Christian is a douche from the get go but Ana is not as weak as I expected, nor as one-dimensional. She's still not great but she has a pretty substantial
life of her own at the moment. Of course, I fully expect this to vanish when they actually start having a romance.

Kate is a plot device really, nothing more. She's someone for Ana to muse about occasionally and to talk to about Christian. Again, she's alright but suffers from a bad case of 'show don't tell'. Instead of describing Kate through actions, we know everything we know about her because Ana tells us it.

Things that annoy me so far-Ana is far too innocent, weirdly so. Apparently she has never drunk before she gets super drunk in Chapter 5 which I find it very hard to believe given that she's 21 and has just finished college. Of course, it would be different if it was a personal choice but it seems more like she's just never gotten round to it. Christian is also awful in this chapter-after rescuing Ana from sexual assault and watching her throw up, he then takes her to the dance floor and they dance until she literally passes out. Because clearly the perfect time to tango is right after you've vomited up two litres of margaritas.

Unfortunately, far too many elements of this remind me of Twilight. Jose is very similar to Jacob in physical description and the role he plays as the best friend/third love triangle part. Their dads are best friends too (something I'm sure will never be mentioned again and so serves only to highlight its Twilight roots) and he does the forceful kiss thing Jacob does. That aside, Grey saves Ana's life from a vehicle like Edward does and Ana has a crappy car like Bella. Coupled with the fact Kate falls for Christian's brother, there are too many similarities here for me to be comfortable with it. Hopefully this will change later on.

Current opinion: Not as bad as I feared