When No One is Watching by Linathi Makanda

I received a copy of this book thanks to publisher Odyssey Books in exchange for an honest review.

Oh wow. When I was kindly offered this poetry collection to review, I had no idea I would fall in love. Linathi Makanda is insanely talented and this collection broke my heart and stitched it back together. I'm always suspicious of comparisons to other works but this is so similarly tonally and quality-wise to Rupi Kaur that I really have no choice. This poetry collection explores themes of feminism, ownership of bodies, relationships, self-esteem and a whole host of other things all covered in beautiful detail. It is split into four sections: Love Rising, Love Lost, Internal Uprising and Hope Rising. My favourites were the middle two (I'm a sucker for cathartic/melancholy poetry) but all four were excellent.

One thing I really loved was that how Makanda manages to put so much meaning and emotion into so few words. Some of the poems are only a line or two, but these were often the ones that would make me pause and think. These words demand attention, to be reread again and again so you can carry them with you. My favourite poetry is the kind that captures those intense feelings and this collection carried so much emotion.

Any fans of Milk and Honey, please check out this book. Makanda deserves to go far and I cannot wait to see what else she writes. I promise you will not regret it.

Overall Rating:

Pretending by Holly Bourne

I received an ARC of this book thanks to NetGalley and publisher Hodder & Stoughton in exchange for an honest review

There is no doubt about it, Holly Bourne has solidified herself as one of my favourite authors. Pretending is her second adult book and boy does it pack a punch. April is a woman in her early thirties, tired of putting up with mediocre men and worn out from her job at a sexual advice charity. After yet another failed date, she decides she is going to get her revenge on men. She is going to pretend to be Gretel, the perfect no-fuss woman.

That premise may sound like a light-hearted comedy romp but don't be fooled. As with all of Bourne's stories, the focus here is solely on the main character dealing with her mental health and trauma from her past. There are huge trigger warnings for sexual assault, trauma but also for general sexist, entitled, borderline abusive behaviour from men. These things are captured so well that it's astonishing how unafraid Bourne is to write them down. It is both refreshing and heartbreaking to experience them in a story form and I will forever treasure this book because of that. I cannot stress the potential triggers enough though, as important as they are. I have no history of sexual assault (at least in the traditional sense) but this book made me reflect deeply on my previous relationship and ask some serious questions about what marks it might have left on me.

Putting that aside, this is just a stellar example of Bourne's writing skill. The characters might as well be real people, the pacing is perfect and the plot, though a basic slice of life on paper, is exactly the story that needs to be told. I have no doubts this will resonate with any woman at least a little bit, but it could also open some eyes for some men if you're willing to not take the prose as a personal attack. I desperately want the straight men in my life to read this, if only so they can finally appreciate the complexity and depth behind navigating relationships from a female point of view. The beauty of it as well is that a book of this kind could so easily feel like cheap pandering but it doesn't even come close because it rings so true.

Is this book perfect? No. I can see some people having issues with aspects of the plot, and this is by no means an easy read. But I love Pretending for daring to tell women their feelings are valid and to not shy away from the uglier truths. If a book can rip you apart and stitch you back together, not by pretending everything is okay but by promising it might be...that's a book we all need to exist.

Overall Rating:

.5

The Quarry by Ben Halls

I received an ARC of this book thanks to NetGalley and publisher Dialogue Books in exchange for an honest review.

I am not usually a fan of adult contemporary books in general. There's nothing wrong with them but it's very rare for one to catch my eye. The Quarry stood out to me because it focused exclusively on telling stories of men living in a desperately poor and unpleasant area. I had no idea of what to expect but I am so glad I took the chance and picked this up.

Halls' writing is truly phenomenal. It took me a few stories to get into the style and tone of this anthology but as an author, he pulls no punches with topics. Almost every character is vibrantly brought to life with his prose and he gives weightier issues all of the focus and nuance that they deserve. There are common themes throughout the stories-addiction, poverty, troubled relationships-but the content never feels repetitive and almost all of the stories earn their place here. Some of my favourites include the ones focused on the postman, alcoholic, gambling addict and the final story. All of them are good but these had the strongest sense of heart.

Several of the stories intertwine with each other but I'd actually hoped for a bit more from this element. A few stories have open endings and I half-expected them to be subtly resolved in later stories in the anthology. This sadly wasn't the case which left some endings a little unsatisfactory but I understand, that is how real life goes. The worst offender was the first story which felt like it would have had massive ramifications (for example, I would have expected a story from the POV of the manager left to deal with the fallout) but instead is never mentioned by anyone ever again. These are minor niggles but they did prey on my mind whilst reading which was a shame.

Overall though, I was incredibly impressed by this anthology. As a debut book, this has made me very excited to see more of Halls work and I definitely recommend it to anyone who likes character-focused stories with a unique twist. This is a tightly-written, wonderfully themed and very enjoyable collection and I am so glad I read it.

Overall Rating:

Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

Okay, so this is partially my own fault because this book has been on my TBR list forever and I haven't read the blurb in over two years. But I picked this up expecting a trashy, fluffy romance and I was not prepared for the depth this book goes.

Maybe 'depth' is the wrong word but this book is not about two teenage girls trying to kiss their way through twenty boys in twenty days. It's actually about one girl trying desperately to grieve the death of her boyfriend without letting her best friend know, all while reconciling her guilt with having new romantic feelings for someone. It's still a YA and don't get me wrong, there are plenty of teenage girl moments and fluffy bits. But damn if it doesn't make a decent stab at depicting grief and complex emotions either.

'The hardest thing is that I'll never know exactly what I lost, how much it should hurt, how long I should keep thinking about him.'

I found the main character Anna to be extremely likeable. You understand why she is friends with Frankie, who could so easily have been turned into the horrible, typical YA wild best friend. Instead you get a friendship that feels very real, as well as actual family relationships and proper parental characters. Ockler somehow manages to capture the almost-mundane side of grief and difficult circumstances. What happens when all the desperate mourning stops and you have to return to everyday life?

'There’s not much anger left between us, just a great divide — like best friends in high school who go to different colleges, lose touch, and move on in parallel lives that never cross until years later, in a random bar or grocery store, and after a brief hug and five minutes of small talk, they both realize that the threads that connected them so long ago have frayed and blown away, leaving nothing to discuss.
So they nod and smile.
And bid one another farewell.'

See that? We've all felt that and damn, Ockler describes it perfectly.

So is this book going to change the world? No, of course not. It is YA and there are some excruciating quotes in here too. But I was pleasantly surprised by the way this book handled grief. It also described being a teenage girl in a fairly accurate way, without a lot of the exaggeration often found in YA fiction. Overall I am glad I finally read it and I feel like I got something from it beyond the trashy fluff I was looking for.

Overall Rating:

.5

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

*Mild spoilers ahead*

This book absolutely fascinated me. I had forgotten the blurb by the time I actually got round to reading it so I didn't know it was set in an alternate universe. Once I got over that initial surprise, I enjoyed every second.

The idea behind this book is very simple but extremely well-explored. People get calls from Death-Cast on the day they're going to die, letting them know they have a maximum of 24 hours left. No one ever survives this period and no one dies without getting a call. The book focuses on the two protagonists (Rufus and Mateo) who meet on their last day and decide to spend it together doing various things. However, the author also has occasional chapters about other people which are always brief but very well-written. It is through these cleverly-woven chapters that a lot of the concept is explored and it really is impressive how unobtrusive they are. It is so hard for an author to create a concept like this and fully explore it but at the end of this book, you're not left with many questions.

The two protagonists are a joy to read about. They absolutely came to life for me and knowing the tragedy of the situation, you become very invested in learning about who they are. Maybe some could argue that their romance is forced or rushed but for me, it was paced perfectly and I did believe it. The side characters aren't bad but apart from the three main Plutos, I wasn't that intrigued or invested in them. I didn't get Aimee in particular and Lidia just felt like she got in the way a bit once she was forced into the main story/ However, these are all minor complaints.

Was it perfect? No. But I was absolutely glued to my seat through every word of this novel. The ending I had mixed feelings on. [Highlight to see] Mateo's death was the kind of tragic thing I do enjoy but also it was so crushing to have him die essentially from stupidity. Rufus' was much better done and a good way to end the book, albeit a bit abrupt.

Overall, this is a beautifully-written book and one I am thoroughly impressed with. I enjoyed it much more than History is All You Left Me which is admittedly similar in themes and tone. I cannot recommend you read it enough, as a perfect example of how to create a world and concept if not for the characters and emotion.

Overall Rating:

.5

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

Let me start this review by saying this is an extremely well-written book. I want to get that out there because honestly, it's hard for me to articulate what I thought of this book and I want to sing its praises before I seem too negative. All the characters in this book are so compelling and fleshed out and it's because of this that the emotions created are so strong. The author skates dangerously close to 'John Green' syndrome (pretentious characters that don't speak or act like real people) but skilfully manages to avoid it. I spent almost this entire book feeling like it should be irritating me and yet finding myself unable to put it down.

History is All You Left Me is the story of Griff, a gay teenager dealing with the sudden death of his ex-boyfriend and best friend Theo. It addresses his regret at initially ending the relationship when Theo went off to college, as well as his mixed feelings towards Theo's current boyfriend Jackson. This is utterly unlike any other book I have ever read plotwise and that certainly helped it a lot. It also has a very subversive plot compared to typical YA romance. While admittedly I did see most of the 'twists' coming, I probably wouldn't if I were the intended audience and I thought they were handled very cleverly. All the 'twists' were incredibly understated and woven very naturally into the narrative, so that even if I had found them surprising I would not have been rudely jerked out of the story. The fact remains that this book tells the kind of love story not often seen in YA fiction and it felt very mature and realistic because of it. I loved that Griff also got over his first love and had to cope with his guilt about that fact, despite being very close with Theo still.

Aaaaand now for the negatives. As much as I did enjoy this book, there were several elements that felt...off. I absolutely HATED (spoilered though you can guess from the back) the fact that Griff and Jackson slept together. It didn't really seem to fit in with the plot or characters and honestly, I think it's something the author had in mind from the start but didn't adapt once he actually started writing it. I also found it hard to identify with Griff a lot of the time. He just seemed to make bad decision after bad decision with no real self-awareness/attempt to rectify these bad decisions. Having said that, I did enjoy his character a lot. I think the only character that didn't seem all that well-developed was Wayne who was another of the slightly-off elements.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this book. It is commendable alone for the positive and varied portrayal of LGBT teens/relationships, but it is also so much more than that. A fascinating book and one I will not be forgetting in a hurry.

Overall Score:

Only Ever Yours by Louse O'Neill

*MILD ENDING SPOILERS (NO REAL DETAILS)*

I first read this book almost in one sitting on one frenzied day during exam time. It was probably the worst time possible to be engulfed by a book but it was so compelling that I couldn't put it down. I promptly finished it and while I was desperate to share my thoughts on it, I was so emotionally-drained that I wasn't quite sure what those thoughts were. A couple of months later, I picked it up again and once more finished it in a day. It's that good.

Only Ever Yours is an emotional gut-punch of a book, in a similar way to how Some Girls Are was. To quickly sum up the plot, global warming has hit, resulting in a future where the only women who exist are 'eves'-perfect girls grown by scientists to serve men. There are three ways eves can accomplish this: companionship (a marriage of sorts), becoming a concubine (prostitute) or (the most dreaded third) remaining at their school to teach future generations as a chastity. The school is where eves live until the end of their 16th year and where they are taught important things like how to hate your body and how only men matter.

Obviously this book is an exaggeration of a modern-day issue, like many great sci-fi books. I can't even begin to describe how compelling I found this world which is surprising given how relatively simple it is. I think what I loved most is how gradually and quietly the horror seeps in. The protagonist casually tells us about how all companions are terminated when they turn 40, how female babies rot in the womb and how infertile companions willingly burn themselves alive so that their husband may choose a 'better' eve to replace her. It's very realistic in the way the main character doesn't realise the horror herself, having grown up in this world. Unlike some dystopian protagonists, she has no unlikely liberal views tainting her view of her world.

Speaking of the protagonist, Frieda is about as heartbreaking a character as they come. She is utterly broken by the world around her and yet is powerless to do anything about it, not that she would have the insight to do anything if she wasn't. The other characters are equally engaging-even evil Megan is vaguely sympathetic in that she is only doing what she has to in order to survive (not that that stops you hating her). By the time the ending comes, you feel as broken as poor Frieda in the best way. Again, this isn't a book I can say I 'enjoyed' reading but it's one I am eternally grateful I did.

Oh, and the ending. It crushed me completely both times and yet, what else did I expect? This isn't the sort of book which can have a happy ending and Frieda is not the sort of character who gets one. And in the end, who is really happy anyway? Not a single character gets what they want, or if they do then it turns out to be a hollow victory. The ending really hammers home the theme of the book, right down to the last bleak sentence.

In case you couldn't tell, I love this book. It's one of those I think everyone needs to experience and like Some Girls Are, it will haunt me forever. It carries an important message in a well-written and utterly compelling package. I strongly recommend you check it out

Overall Rating:

If I Stay by Gayle Forman

The first time I read this book was two years ago and I raved about it. I couldn't wait to read the sequel and, after finally getting my hands on it the other day, I decided to reread the first one to remind myself of the story. Honestly? I don't know why I made such a fuss about it.

Yes, this book has a great plot. What impressed me when I first read it was how great the characters were AND how diverse they were. Hey look, well-developed adults in a YA book! Shocking! And yes, I stand by that statement. The characters are interesting and I loved reading about them. Mia in particular is a great narrator, somehow keeping the story flowing even when it's jumping about all over the place.

(Unrelated but seriously, Chloe Grace Moretz is in this movie. I HAD to include a gif of her)

Which brings me to why I was somewhat disappointed. The writing style is...simplistic. Maybe a little too simplistic. This coupled with the book being very short made me feel like I was reading something meant for younger readers. Heck, maybe I was. But the majority of YA books can stretch across the whole age range and this is one of the few I've read which made me feel like I was reading a YA book instead of just a book about teenagers.

Overall though, this is still a decent book driven by a great plot and intriguing characters. The sequel on the other hand...well, I'll save my thoughts on that for another review

Overall Score: