Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Oh boy. I am not going to win any fans for this one. So this book has been on my TBR list for four years now. One of my closest friends recommended it to me waaaay back in first year of university and I earnestly promised to read it as he said it was one of his favourite books. Flash forward to 2018-the movie is coming out and I am reminded of this book's existence. I excitedly text him to say I'm finally starting to read it and I begin.

Aaaaaaaaah.

This book is bad. Painfully bad. Reading it is like being punched in the stomach by someone you hate only you're not allowed to complain about it because you have only yourself to blame. The only way I can accurately do my hatred of this book justice is to break it down into subtitles so apologies if it seems disjointed. There is just a LOT of ground to cover.

Plot Summary

The setting is 2045 and the world has gone to crap. Our protagonist is a teenage boy named Wade Watts, an orphan who spends all of his time in an online virtual world called the Oasis. That's all everyone does now-that and make endless 80s references. You see, the guy who made the Oasis died and left behind a video saying he would give 240 billion (yes, BILLION) dollars to whoever finds his hidden Easter egg first. In order to have a chance of finding this Easter egg, you have to memorise every piece of pop culture from the 80s ever. No that isn't a joke. Wade is the biggest geek and therefore of course will undertake the quest to find the egg first. By 'quest' I mean spending four years watching and reading stuff, then finally getting off his ass to do something.

Problem #1-SO MUCH EIGHTIES

Many people appear to love this book because of the endless references to everything nerdy. These people are severely misguided. You see, Cline employs the absolute laziness way of referencing stuff which is to just namecheck everything in a massive stream of pop culture vomit. If the reference isn't included as part of an obnoxiously long list, then you can bet it will be inserted into a paragraph of description in the most distracting way possible. Characters, places, even the music in tense scenes is replaced with a reference to a better work of fiction.

'She was so charming. Her geeky demeanor and hyperkinetic speech pattern reminded me of Jordan, my favorite character in Real Genius'

How distracting is that? It fails on two counts because if you don't get the reference, well you suck for not being nerdy enough (more on that later). If you do get the reference however, then you can't possibly think of anything other than the character from that movie from then onward. It ruins any description Cline does bother to write and it jerks you out of the story like a car crash.

Problem #2-Show don't tell

So the finding of the first key is kind of glossed over a bit (I mean, if you can call 10 chapters or so 'glossed over') which I guess is done because finding it is a given. Unfortunately this results in one of the worst narrative mistakes an author can make and that is simply telling the reader about stuff instead of bothering to describe it. It's honestly baffling when Wade finds out the location of the first key, calculates it will take him three days to get there and then just immediately comes up with an alternative plan. Then he teleports there and makes his way through a dungeon in the space of a sentence. Cline literally lists him finding loot until he reaches the big boss of the dungeon and it's such a bizarre decision. I guess it's because if you've played the game he's referencing, that would be rather dull to read about. Alas it is dull anyway and you could have done so much cool stuff with detailing Wade's journey and have him battling things. Even fans of the game could have enjoyed in-depth references.

This is not a one-off either. Too often the author resorts to simply listing things or skimming over certain details. I don't need to read about everything but why bring something up instead of simply using a time skip or a change of scene? This is also linked closely with the next problem...

Problem #3-No suspense allowed

For the first half of this book (and even a bit beyond that) the author seems petrified to let the reader experience any kind of suspense. Finding the first key is told with the knowledge that Wade will succeed but that does not excuse things like this happening:

'I breathed a sigh of relief. (I wouldn’t learn until later that the keys were nontransferable. You couldn’t drop one of them, or give them to another avatar. And if you were killed while holding one, it vanished right along with your body.)'

So throughout this scene we're not sure if he's going to be attacked and lose the key he just gained. Then Art3mis tries to attack him and the above sentence happens, immediately removing any kind of suspense. By telling us so early on that keys can't be stolen, it removes so much potential tension from later scenes. Again, stuff like this happens repeatedly.

Problem #4-Wade is too good

The other major reason the story lacks any suspense is that Wade basically never struggles with anything. It is astonishing how many skills this guy supposedly has. He is one of the first people to work out the location of the first key and gets it immediately, even though Art3mis has been trying for five weeks. Granted he struggles with working out the second key but only with working it out. The actual nerd skills needed to complete any challenge, he has in spades. None of these skills are foreshadowed either (beyond us being told repeatedly how awesome and nerdy he is) so every time it's like 'I approached the place, waiting to see what the next challenge would be. It was this thing. Sweet, I'm awesome at this thing.'. I was just waiting for him to encounter something he wasn't amazing at and it never really happened.

At one point when Wade is in hiding and is all depressed, he becomes incredibly obese. He then installs a fitness program onto his virtual system and within months (literally months) he gains abs and becomes very muscular. I can understand having a computer program help you lose weight making it much easier but it's still ridiculous. It doesn't explain how he loses that weight healthily when it's so much in such a short space of time. It's just another thing that he does effortlessly.

Problem #5-No one has that much time

This book is all over the place when it comes to logic and time. So Wade is poor and we're told right at the start of the book that he has to scavenge and sell computers for food since his aunt steals all of his government-issued food. This is then never mentioned again. He also attends school which presumably follows the usual full-time school structure. Four years have passed since the start of the egg hunt and yet somehow Wade has had the time to consume thousands of hours of films, TV shows, books and videogames. How? For example, just one thing Wade claims to have done is watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail 157 times. That is almost ten days worth of watching just one film.

This continues much later on when we're suddenly told that he has had to take on a full-time 40 hour a week job (with 10 hour shifts) and yet he still has time to go into the Oasis all the time and still hunt for the egg. What??? It doesn't make any sense.

Problem #6-Is this even a romance?

Not gonna lie, I have quite a few issues with how Art3mis and Wade's relationship goes down in this book. He has a crush on her before he meets her and when he does meet her, we get some truly cringe-worthy flirting between them.

'“You’re evil, you know that?” I said.

She grinned and shook her head. “Chaotic Neutral, sugar.”'

That line was so bad that it almost ruined the magical idea of romance a lifetime of watching Disney movies has instilled in me.

It does get marginally better but it still really bothers me. Art3mis makes a lot of good points about how Wade only gets to see what she wants him to see since they've only interacted online. And she repeatedly says she looks nothing like her avatar which he repeatedly ignores. Good thing she was lying right? This discussion also leads to one of the most godawful please-can-I-stop-reading moments in the whole damn book:

'Art3mis: How well do you know Aech?

Parzival: He’s been my best friend for five years. Now, spill it. Are you a woman? And by that I mean are you a human female who has never had a sex-change operation?

Art3mis: That’s pretty specific.

Parzival: Answer the question, Claire'

If some guy spoke like that to me, I would never ever speak to him again. This was written in 2011 for god's sake, there's no excuse for transphobia.

Just after the halfway point, we get the obligatory break-up due to Art3mis wanting to focus on the contest (though she is adamant they were never dating, something Wade repeatedly ignores). Wade then bombards her with messages etc to try and get her back. I honestly don't know how the author meant us to interpret this because he does get her in the end but it's not as a result of his behaviour. However, it's still another point against our hero.

I also dislike the faint 'not like other girls' vibe going on in the narration. Wade takes time to point out how Art3mis has a curvy but normal build, unlike EVERY OTHER GIRL who apparently are all either stick-thin or have porn star bodies. Because of course most girls would choose to look like a male fantasy.

Finally, there's a scene where Art3mis and Wade discuss what they would do with the money. Wade says he'd buy a mansion and cool stuff and Art3mis says she would feed all the starving people in the world. You know, because dystopia. Wade MOCKS her for this. This is never really resolved apart from a glib joke by Wade later.

Problem #7-All the other crap

1. There is so much racism in regards to the Japanese characters.

2. Aech is apparently one of the most famous players in the Oasis at the start of the book, has a really cool hangout and yet has no friends apart from Wade.

3. Why do they hang out with I-r0k? Seriously, no one likes him and he exists only to mess stuff up later. Oh, and also so Wade can prove his knowledge in one of the hardest scenes to swallow (I've dealt with a lot of sucky gatekeeper nerd guys in my time).

'I nodded. “The prizes were all mentioned in the Swordquest comic books that came with the games. Comic books which happen to be visible in the treasure room in the final scene of Anorak’s Invitation, by the way.”

The crowd burst into applause. I-r0k lowered his head in shame.'

Never has a scene made me root for a protagonist less.

4. If Halliday intended the true message to be 'don't waste your life in the Oasis', why did he create an impossibly hard contest designed to make everyone spend their time in the Oasis consuming the exact same pop culture he did?

5. Wade says this stupid insult '“Your mom bought them for me,” I retorted without breaking my stride. “Tell her I said thanks, the next time you stop at home to breast-feed and pick up your allowance.”' followed by 'At this school, the only real weapons were words, so I’d become skilled at wielding them'. Skilled. With dialogue like that. Sure.

6. Halliday sounds like an awful awful person. Wade takes the time to point out he fired people for not understanding his references and yeah, that makes him awful.

7. Name-dropping Revenge of the Nerds as a good movie. Gross.

8. Oh look, more problematic stuff:

'“Stop hitting yourself like Rain Man, OK?”'

9. Stop. Making. Wade. So. Unlikeable.

'When I reached the bar, I ordered a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster from the female Klingon bartender and downed half of it. Then I grinned as R2 cued up another classic ’80s tune. “ ‘Union of the Snake,’ ” I recited, mostly out of habit. “Duran Duran. Nineteen eighty-three.”'

10. The weird blob dancing scene.

Final Thoughts

So after all that, how come this book gets two stars and not one? Well to my utter surprise, after about the halfway point this book improves a lot. Almost all of the references vanish (sadly not quite all) and the actual plot becomes the main focus. It's not a bad plot either, and I even found myself enjoying it at times. Sadly this is not enough for me to recommend this book. It wasn't even enough to cancel out the sheer anger it made me feel.

Mild other positives so this doesn't seem so negative-Art3mis is a pretty cool character. I like how she held her own and she was by far the most sensible and relatable person. Aech isn't bad either really. The plot goes in a weird but not unwelcome direction nearish the end and it was certainly different than what I was expecting.

Overall, I am kind of baffled how this book gets any 5 star reviews. From reading them, they all seem to be written by people who are happy with shallow references and enjoy the gatekeeper aspects. As someone who normally loves a clever reference, I am deeply disappointed by the quality on show here.

It's such a shame because the second half of the book shows how good Ready Player One could have been if it wasn't trying so hard. I would have loved to see more creativity and uniqueness within the world of the Oasis. It also desperately needed a less douchey protagonist.

Overall Rating:

Three Sides of a Heart: A Short Story Anthology

From one fantastic cute anthology about love to...well, this. This isn't the worst anthology I've ever read but it's one of the dullest. Most of the stories don't even follow the basic premise and the whole thing is super disappointing. I'm going to do what I've done in the past and go through each short story in turn, only expect a lot less detail for most because I don't actually a) remember what happens or b) like most of them.

Riddles in Mathematics, 2.5/5-One of the better ones, not that that's saying much. It's written in a very dull and kind of hard to follow way. It's also one of the ones that follows the love triangle premise the closest, although yeah, it still doesn't really count as a love triangle. Basically there is a girl, her brother and a girl who is their best friend. Girl fancies best friend girl but thinks she is dating her brother. You can probably guess what happens.

Dread South, 3.5/5-Not. A. Love. Triangle. This was such a weird story to follow the first one but also it was pretty great so I can't fault it too much. It takes place in an alternate timeline where zombies exist after the American Civil War. Black women are trained as warrior servants to protect rich white people, and the main girl gets bought one by her rich fiance. She then falls in love with her servant protector. Bit of a weird context but enjoyable on the whole.

Omega Ship, 2.5/5-Kind of a cool idea? So it's the end of the world and humans are evacuating the earth. However, the ship breaks and only three people manage to escape-one girl and two boys. The girl is overcome by the idea of having to have babies forever and has to choose which boy to have a baby with first. The problem with this is that it could have used more time to explore the emotions of the characters and the themes it was trying to consider. I could totally see this working as a full-length novel or YA series. As it stands, it's a bit weak.

La Revancha del Tango, 1.5/5-I have pretty much no memory of this apart from skim-reading it. A girl dances? Someone gets jealous? Somehow the person she is dancing with symbolises who she is going to be with for the rest of her life. One of the weaker ones.

Cass, An and Dra, 1.5/5-Told sooooo badly. Again, this could have been a cool idea. I'm not entirely sure what the point of the whole 'Cassandra' thing is beyond a reference to Cassandra the fortune teller. Basically Cass (none of the characters have gender in this) is dating An but then is tempted by Dra-or at least, I think that's what this was trying to convey. Cass can see the future and see how each decision they make will result in different options, so each time they have to actively choose An. Obviously the names spell out 'Cassandra' so I was expecting some kind of split personality thing but nope. I don't care enough to try and sort out what this clumsy mess was trying to say I'm afraid.

Lessons for Beginners, 3.5/5-A actual love triangle! The main girl gives kissing lessons to people at school. She gets employed by an old childhood friend and her new boyfriend to try and improve his kissing. The two girls have insane chemistry but aren't sure where it's going to lead. I don't remember just how good this was but it was cute and far more interesting than most of the other stories.

Triangle Solo, 1.5/5-Erm, so this was needlessly sci-fi. It just kind of dropped the sci-fi in there as well, like shoving ham into a vegetarian sandwich. Effectively this is two guys fighting over a girl they used to know who went away for ages and came back hot. I barely skim-read this one.

Vim and Vigor, 4/5-By far the best story in this. There is a love triangle in this but it's not actually part of the story really, just the set-up. These girls were best friends and massively into a fandom when one of them died in an accident. They then stopped speaking to each other and drifted apart, but this story is about them learning to cope with their grief and re-establishing their friendship. A sweet story and a breath of fresh air to the anthology.

Work in Progress, ?/5-I don't even remember this one.

Hurdles, 3.5/5-Another solid one rooted in reality. A girl is set to become a star athlete and has a lovely boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend has just come out of prison for drug use/other bad things. She is trying to decide whether or not to run away with her ex or stay with her new boyfriend and go for an athletic scholarship (or something similar). The only thing holding this story back is you never find out what she chooses. Very disappointing considering one option would be extremely bad for her.

The Historian, The Garrison, and the Cantakerous Catwoman, 3/5-Apart from giving me serious Buffy ripoff vibes, this story was pretty cool. The main character is a girl who helps a superhero-type figure fight demons by basically being his researcher. He then meets another superhero-type girl who he falls in love with. This story is all about the main character's jealousy and feelings of betrayal at this.

Waiting, 1.5/5-I only vaguely remember this story but I definitely know I was not happy with the love triangle resolution. I'm pretty sure the main character ended up picking the worst possible option and treating a perfectly nice guy like crap in the process. This story was clearly going for 'pick passion over companionship' and while I understand that to an extent, they shouldn't have made the other option so appealing. Instead it just seems like she had learned nothing and was making the same bad mistakes all over again.

Vega, ?/5-Erm...this was probably a story in this anthology?

A Hundred Thousand Threads, ?/5-I skipped it sorry.

Before She Was Bloody, ?/5-I also skipped this one. I tried, I really did.

Unus, Duo, Tres, 3.5/5-This was really well-written and quite a cool concept of a story buuuut...polyamory is a thing guys. I don't want to say too much but this is about undead vampire lovers and what happens when they both fall for another human and yeah, polyamory should have been the resolution.

Okay, so as you can probably tell this was a very long anthology and my memory of many of the stories is pretty hazy. I read it only a month ago and even from reading the story descriptions from other reviews, there are some I just can't remember anything about. Overall though I would say it's not worth picking up this anthology. Even the good stories didn't really blow my mind massively, and there are so many that it really drags near the end. It's such a shame because this could be a great premise for a bunch of interesting short stories but that just doesn't happen.

Overall Score:

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn

SPOILERS AHEAD (Technically. You should be able to figure this one out anyway but yeah)

What do I do with this book? On the one hand, A. J. Finn is a very talented writer and I was completely sucked into the world of this book. On the other hand, the plot absolutely sucked. I mean, for a thriller this was bad. Let me tell you, there is nothing more frustrating than when you're reading a thriller and you've figured out the 'twist' because it's insanely obvious and yet the main character remains painfully oblivious. The Woman in the Window is a particularly bad example of this because there are literally only two possibilities and the character completely glosses over one of them.

So, let me introduce you to the main plot. An agoraphobic drunk woman named Anna meets her neighbour's wife, sees her being murdered a few days later and then is told by the police and everyone else that she has never actually met his wife who is now a completely different woman. The main character insists the new woman can't be his wife, even when papers are produced showing she undeniably is. So the other possibility you immediately come to is that the first woman wasn't his wife and was in fact lying while this new woman is his wife.

Not if you're this main character!

Instead she continues on for hundreds of pages wondering who this new woman is instead of focusing on the identity of the victim. It is very frustrating to read and it means that the first intended 'twist' of her realising the first woman was lying and not the second comes off as anticlimatic and very poorly done. This is especially bad when the second major twist also turns out to be fairly guessable, though admittedly not to the extent of the first. Even so, the reveal that Ethan is the evil killer all along falls very flat and is unsatisfying. It is extremely easy to guess that the person Anna has been talking to online is a fake and is fishing for information, to the point where again you wonder why the supposedly smart Anna isn't making these simple connections.

The other major problem of this book can be defined as a distinct lack of originality. The main character reeks of the protagonist from The Girl on the Train, what with them both being alcoholics who witness a murder through a window and have their testimony doubted due to their substance abuse. This is even more obvious when you consider both protagonists jump to the wrong conclusions about the married couple they spy on. The other obvious influence is Rear Window. Anna is obsessed with old black and white movies and does mention Hitchcock several times, and yet she never draws direct parallels between Rear Window and her own situation. I actually enjoyed the constant use of movie quotes at first and thought it was quite a nice character quirk to include in a thriller, but said quotes quickly become overused near the end and the lack of the connection is honestly baffling. A throwaway line about it might have been cheap but at least it would have been something.

You may have noticed that neither of the things I have mentioned are what you could call small problems. By all rights I should hate this book for being a dumb, derivative, forgettable work.

AND YET.

By god this book is well-written. I didn't think much of it at the time beyond it being really compelling and hard to put down but honestly, this author deserves some kudos. They have an obvious plot with obvious twists and somehow I still enjoyed every minute of the characters and writing style. I guessed the first twist astonishingly early on but I still read eagerly, keen to find out what was going to happen. Then I guessed the second and third twists and yet I still read on. I minded a lot but it didn't make me rush through it or roll my eyes every other sentence like some thrillers I've read. Anna may be a bit of an idiot but she is likeable and has some decent depth to her. Also this book is much longer than the average thriller but it didn't feel like it for one second. I really, really hope this author writes more and writes something with a far better plot because he could go so far.

Overall, I am left with very conflicted feelings about this book. I cannot ignore its very painful and crucial flaws but I can't dismiss it as thriller trash either. Is it worth reading? Maybe. Do I regret reading it? Definitely not. This is the first book of 2018 I'm reading as part of my 'new releases, new reviews' schtick and it seems to be carrying on the noble tradition of not being that great. However, there are some really fantastic elements in here and I can't fault it too hard thanks to those. In terms of thrillers, you could do a whole lot worse.

Overall Rating:

.5

The Choice by Samantha King

ABSOLUTELY HAS SPOILERS AHEAD. It's okay, this one sucks.

This is one of the messiest books I have ever read. I don't understand how it got this way either because the basic premise (woman picks which child gets killed when a psycho breaks into her house) is good. Not very original but certainly a solid basis for a thriller. Unfortunately the book isn't actually about that.

Okay, so the best way to explain the plot of this book is to summarize each of the three parts separately because really, they're a different story:

Part 1-A woman struggles to live with the guilt she feels for choosing one of her children to die. Unfortunately she can't talk (because none of this is real) which means she doesn't actually have any interesting interactions with anyone. Instead we get internal monologuing interspersed with flashbacks.

Part 2-A woman wakes up from a coma. *gasp* None of part 1 was real! Nothing much happens here until we build up to the 'twist' that her daughter isn't actually dead because the weird choice scenario didn't happen like she imagined it in her coma dream (see what I mean about messy?). This twist is entirely obvious due to no one mentioning her daughter's death at all during this whole section.

Part 3-The main character is kidnapped by her husband who was the masked gunman (again, this is painfully obvious). A vague and badly paced showdown occurs. The woman lives with her two children, the end.

The biggest theme of this book is 'missed opportunities'. So part 1 has the main character be mute as an attempt at foreshadowing the fact that she's not really there/it's some weird coma dream. I as a reader don't care about this however because where is the premise offered by the blurb? I expected a book dealing with the main character's guilt at being forced to choose which child to die, an examination of why she chose that child and MOST IMPORTANTLY, other peoples' reactions to it! What would her husband say to her? Her surviving child? Her friends? All of this is completely lost for the sake of a twist which means that none of it matters anyway.

Similarly, by having the twist at the end of part 2 be so incredibly obvious, it unfortunately means that none of this section really matters either. None of her thoughts about her dead daughter are valid because her daughter isn't dead. So now we're two thirds of the way through the book and nothing so far matters.

It's really sad because there is some good stuff in this book. Not the pacing or plotting because that's always awful, but the actual style of writing isn't terrible. The characters as well are believable and had the potential to be compelling. I like the story of the romance between her and her husband, even if I hate the way it's revealed. And again, that initial seed of the idea could have made for a really good thriller. Instead, we just have the worst kind of mess.

Overall Rating:

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

I don't think I like this book.

I say 'think' because admittedly, I'm not entirely sure. I really wanted to like it, or maybe I felt like I should. Ultimately though I have to be honest and I feel Brave New World falls flat in what it's trying to do.

Okay, my first reason is probably the most 'controversial' but honestly, I don't see the future world as being all that bad. Obviously it is bad in comparison to the real world, I'm not an idiot. But in comparison to other dystopias? Everyone is happy and those who aren't get sent somewhere else to be with a whole bunch of other people like them. Not killed, not brainwashed or imprisoned. Just sent away to live their lives how they please. Again obviously, the constant drugging, biological manipulation of the lower classes and lack of art or science are all terrible things. I do not want to live in this world by any means but I think the sex part is what is supposed to be so awful about it and honestly, that makes the book come across as dated and diminishes its impact.

My second issue is with the characters. In the entire book, the only characters I kind of liked were Lenina, Linda and Helmholtz. Bernard was okay but I could not stand John at all. I think my dislike of John is one of the reasons I can't quite see this as a terrible world. He was so pretentious and utterly joyless that, when presented as the alternative, he doesn't make a very good argument for it. It also makes it harder for me to agree with any of his arguments, no matter how valid they are. His treatment of Lenina is appalling and I did not find him particularly sympathetic. The crush angle also seemed repetitive to me as Bernard's crush on Lenina and John's crush were pretty similar in terms of how they fit into the plot and both played the same purpose narratively.

However, the thing I disliked the most was how unsubtle this book was. Characters literally have long discussions about the theme of the book and it feels like the author is whacking you in the face with it. I do not like books which are purely a vessel for a certain message and while this book was too well-written and developed to be just that, it came dangerously close.

Honestly though, there were a lot of good things about this book. I think I like projecting my own interpretation of the story more than I like the actual story itself. Like John-the whole part where he pleads for the right to be unhappy feels like it should be really meaningful and in my head now, it is. But when I was reading it, I felt nothing but weariness. I think this book has a lot to say but its execution lets it down, which is weird because it is well-written. Something is missing but I'm not sure what. For the first time ever, I'm not going to rate this book because I honestly have no idea what to rate it on. My review probably sounds a lot more negative than I feel and this book will certainly stick with me if nothing else.

Pink by Lili Wilkinson

Oh, this book had such potential.

I like its concept, I really do. There are plenty of books about the shallow popular girl embracing who she really is and becoming different. I suppose that really this is just another story about a girl in high school finding her place (maybe that's why it disappointed me) but the protagonist Ava is already a gothic lesbian who is super alternative and hip. Rather than tell the story of someone realising they're gay, this story focuses on someone who is a lesbian trying to work out whether that's what they really are. I like the idea that it's just as okay for someone to change their mind and want to be like a stereotypical teenager as it is for someone to decide they want to be different. There's nothing wrong with wearing pink and being 'popular' if that's who you really are. Or at least, I think that's the message the book started off with.

Oh book, why did you have to let me down?

Here's my main problem with Pink-Ava is a goddamn idiot. Okay, so she changes schools so she can start again and find herself. That I can sort of accept for the sake of the book. But after that it's all downhill. She suspects she's not 100% lesbian so what does she do? Decide that straight away she's going to try to get a boyfriend at her new school. Without a trace of guilt or even a second thought spared for her current girlfriend who she claims to really care about but apparently not enough to care about cheating on. Sure, when she eventually does cheat she reacts with mild horror. But it's not like it was a surprise! She's been planning to cheat for about 50 pages by that point and only now is she thinking of her girlfriend???

Another part of Ava's plan is to get in with the popular kids. Miraculously, she manages it on her first day with three of the most popular girls in school taking her under their wing. So far so good. But oh no, all the popular kids are in the musical and force her to audition! After embarrassing herself at auditions, Ava decides that is it and she must resign herself to hanging out with the losers of the school...despite the fact that actually, none of the popular kids care that she failed her audition. Seriously, no one mocks her for it, her new friends aren't bitchy in the slightest and yet for some reason she acts as though they're being the stereotypical bitch squad of the fictitious high school world.

Okay, so Ava joins the loser squad and continues to mope for most of the book even though a) she still hangs out regularly with the popular kids and b) the loser squad is awesome. Ava mopes and mopes until the third act of the book starts and suddenly everyone is a bitch!

No, really.

Queen Bee girl starts playing the part (which seems really weird and out of place given how nice she is for the rest of it) and her girlfriend Chloe also dials up the bitch and makes unreasonable demands so the plot can justify Ava cheating on her. The whole thing is very messy and feels totally wrong since these aren't the characters we've been reading about the whole book. After everyone goes briefly mean, in rolls the (kinda) happy ending and almost everything is resolved/reverted to the status quo.

I say almost everything because surprise surprise, Ava doesn't actually get with the blatant loser love interest that she pretended not to be interested in the whole time even though she clearly was and he clearly liked her which explains why he was being so weird and distant and erratic. Nope, Ava actually insists that since she doesn't know what she wants, she just wants to be friends with the guy until she's figured out whether she likes boys or girls.

Erm, bisexuality is a thing book. Stop acting like she has to make some big choice, she's entitled to like both! It's actually more common than you think.

Anyway, I would like this ending except for the fact that Ava hasn't been able to make up her goddamn mind the whole book and so it just comes across as her being incredibly indecisive, as well as leading the guy on. She waits until he's confessed his love and she's confessed hers before saying that she doesn't want to be with him and even after he says he doesn't care if she changes her mind later, she still says no. This is a perfectly understandable course of action but my problem is with the execution. Instead of seeming smart and practical, Ava just seems to wimp out.

Ultimately, my main problem with the book is that at the end, Ava hasn't really learned anything. Sure, she fixes all the problems she caused (plus a few she didn't) but ultimately she's in the same position at the end that she is at the start. She still doesn't have a solid friendship group, she still hasn't figured out her sexuality and she's still moronic in all her basic decisions. Honestly, I could accept her being an idiot so long as by the end, she realised how idiotic she was. Instead we just have a story about an idiot who doesn't grow and doesn't really do anything remarkably worthy of a whole book.

I feel like I've been very harsh throughout this review so I would like to say that I didn't hate this book. The side characters were interesting and pretty varied, a welcome change from the usual cookie-cutter losers in high school fiction. I liked that the popular people weren't all bitchy and vapid. Sadly though, I couldn't help but be annoyed by it more than I liked it. In the end, its merits did not cancel out its faults.

Overall Score:

.5